With increasing regularity, the journalist of today must check to see that it isn't April 1st when reading through press releases. The latest I-bet-I'm-being-punked bit of news that needed a sniff test was: Atari, the video game giant of the '70s and '80s, is apparently opening a string of "video-game-themed hotels" in Las Vegas, Denver, Chicago, Austin, Seattle, San Francisco, San Jose and Phoenix.
The once-relevant brand is promising "a unique lodging experience combining the iconic brand with a one-of-a-kind video game-themed destination. Atari Hotels level up hotel entertainment with fully immersive experiences for every age and gaming ability, including the latest in VR and AR (Virtual and Augmented Reality). Select hotels will also feature state-of-the-art venues and studios to accommodate esports events."
Here's what I'd expect to see from such a hotel:
- Elevators that move from side-to-side while descending, shaped like Space Invaders
- Doorknobs are replaced with simple black joysticks, locked by pressing a single orange button
- Key cards are replaced with cartridges. (You must blow into the bottom of the cartridge before inserting it into your door)
- If you find centipedes in your room, it's your job to kill them
- The breakfast special: Pongcakes
- The bellhops are dressed in enormous Pac-Man costumes and must "eat" your luggage to carry it away
Apparently the first hotel is going up in Phoenix, and the company says they're breaking ground this year.
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Also there should be lots of fake dark woodgrain.