Spare a thought for the poor shrimp of Japan. If local restaurant goers aren't going to be boiling you alive in a Shabu-Shabu broth (video) at their table (with it seems a fair amount of enjoyment!) then you might as well face the equally terrifying prospect of being sliced and diced alive to be served up as Ikezukuri sashimi (video), your spasming remains prodded at with chopsticks for entertainment.

In a new development in shrimp suffering, such freshly departed souls are now being afforded the final, posthumous insult of being dragged into the advertising of Japanese mobile provider DoCoMo. To the accompaniment of pounding death metal, the cooked creatures are being shot through the air, lightly tempura-ed through jets of flour and egg mix and undergoing partial cremation in a ball of flames before smashing head long into a crash mat and coming to rest (RIP little fellas) on a plate—all in a tenuous attempt to imply the great speeds of associated brands services.

Whilst DoCoMo can no doubt rely on a healthy number of views thanks to such pyrotechnics (8.2 million and counting), we may have to call bullshit on this machine doing anything other than turning some prawns into a sloppy lukewarm mess. We do, of course, also have to come out in condemnation of such violence against our shellfish friends. Have some respect for the dead DoCoMo.