How do you sell a four-foot-long ribbon of PVC for $150?

Simple: By tying it in a bow, and marketing it as the thing you have to put on top of a car to signify it's a gift. (Because if your spouse leads you outside during the holidays, and there's a new Silverado in the driveway, you might not put two and two together.)

Companies like California-based King Size Bows and Iowa-based Golden Openings sell "car bows" that run from tens to hundreds of dollars for the single-use objects. Options include protective feet, magnetic mounts or even suction cup mounts so that the wind doesn't ruin your driveway moment.

I guess technically speaking, whether they're single-use or not depends on the buyer; you could store it in the attic and break it out again next year, when you've upgraded your gift to the latest model. Though something tells me that folks with those kinds of means probably aren't concerned with keeping a PVC ribbon out of the trash.

We ought ask what, as a society, has conditioned us to believe that gifting a five- or six-figure automobile demands an expensive ribbon. (It's also worth noting that you can purchase a 30-foot-long ribbon at Michaels Art Supply for $10.)

Lastly:

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