To my great surprise, an L.A.-based company called Stoggles Eyewear has successfully crowdfunded a pair of $32 safety glasses…to the tune of $3.4 million. But the purpose of these Stoggles is not to protect against flying chips or debris, but your own fingers.

If this was April 1st, I'd get it. But no, the glasses are shipping this month; the campaign was first launched in the midst of the pandemic, when experts on TV were saying not to touch your face. The designers thus bet on the public's desire for a protect-me-from-myself type of object, and they bet right: A total of 69,455 backers pitched in, netting the company $3.4 million in pledges.

Yesterday's crowdfunding smash post showed that we do not want to reach all the way from the couch to the coffee table. Today's shows we cannot be trusted to keep our own fingers out of our own eyes. Up next, I'm guessing: A seatbelt that prevents us from falling out of our own office chairs.