If we did not live in a post-truth society, it would be common sense to avoid large social gatherings amidst the pandemic. Some have yielded to this: An entire class of high school and college students have had to forego traditional graduation ceremonies in the name of public safety.

But for all those willing to sacrifice their own wants, there are others who just want to party. After reading "Bacterial Transfer Associated with Blowing Out Candles on a Birthday Cake," the sexy name of a Clemson University study that revealed a great way to spread COVID particles, you'd think Florida-based dentist Billy Kay would advise his patients to ditch the ritual. Instead, Florida's Channel 9 News reports that he invented the Top It Cake Shield, a polystyrene and polypropylene shield that comes in three shapes, has a cutout for candles and apparently keeps germs off of the rest of the cake.

What about airborne transmission? Why is no one in the video wearing masks? Why don't they just--ah, forget it.