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| As long as we're on the subject of pigment application, this seems like a good a time to discuss the All-Weather Paintstik, a product used by livestock farmers looking for an easy way to mark their herds. You say you don't have the time or the stomach to use the branding iron on Ol' Bessie? Not to worry -- just put your specialized mark on her with the Paintstik.
At four inches long by an inch wide, the Paintstik does an admirable job of distilling its specialized purpose into an utterly simple form -- it looks very much like a big piece of blue chalk. But what does the Paintstik offer to those of us who aren't livestock farmers? I tried using it to write my initials on my cats (just picture the "Lost Pet" flier I'd be able to distribute if one of them ran away), but they wouldn't sit still long enough for me to make a good mark and were too furry anyway -- I think I'd have to shave them first in order to get the proper effect.
Humans, on the other hand, aren't very furry at all, especially young humans, which suggests an obvious application for the Paintstik: Use it on your kid. Seriously, who's got time to keep tabs on Junior when you're examining those rutabagas out at the farmers' market or shopping for a new sofa at Ikea? And haven't you always worried about Angel-Face getting separated from you at the department store or factory outlet? Using the Paintstik to draw an easily identified symbol on your precious one's forehead could save a lot of heartache down the road. The Paintstik is non-toxic, and the bright blue pigment washed off easily enough when I tried it on myself, so there's really very little risk involved. Face it, until they get jobs and learn to clean out the garage, children aren't much different from livestock anyway, so you may as well treat them accordingly.
LA-CO Industries, Inc. |
